Twice in a Lifetime (Love Found) Read online

  Yeah, he was still grinning. “You don’t hear me complaining.”

  “Oh. We have to call Trey.” She dropped his hand and dug through her purse for her cell phone. There was no answer so she left a message.

  He directed the truck onto the freeway. “I was thinking… we can set up the babies’ stuff in the spare bedroom. Or we can get those little rocking cradles for our room.”

  He was so adorable, and already putting a lot of thought into this. “Babies. I like the sound of that.” She savored the sound of the word on her tongue. “Jake, pinch me. It still seems so unreal.”

  He reached for her hand instead.

  She placed both their hands low on her abdomen. “I wonder if they’re girls or boys.” The wheels would be turning in his head, planning for the future.

  “I can picture them clearly.” His eyes were shining with anticipation. “Little girls with curly red hair and dimples like their mommy. Their dolls scattered all over the house.”

  “What if they’re boys? You could play ball with them and teach them not to pound each other with hammers.”

  “Sons.” He considered this seriously, almost reverently, and nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that too.”

  “I’m scheduled to have an amnio next week. Doctor Quinn said we can find out what sex they are if we want.”

  “What’s that… amnio?”

  What was she thinking, even mentioning the word? “They take a little fluid from around the babies and send it to the lab. Just to make sure there’s nothing wrong.”

  Jake took his eyes off the road and stole a glance at her still flat stomach. Did he realize his hands trembled on the steering wheel? He cleared his throat. “Exactly how do they get the fluid, Alexandra?”

  Yeah, he wasn’t letting that one go, was he? This would be a good time to have an aptitude for poker. “It’s no big deal. They simply insert a little needle into my stomach.” She was lying through her teeth. From what she heard it was a damn big needle. And scary as all hell.

  "Jake, get back on the road!”

  He jerked the swerving truck back into his own lane. “When is your appointment?” He bit out each word nervously.

  “Tuesday afternoon. Why? Do you want to come along?”

  His expression was pained. And he seemed to have turned pale. “Of course.”

  She knew from the beginning where they were headed. Jake slowed the truck to make the turn.

  “Jake, do you want to know the sex of the babies?”

  He turned to her with a shy smile. “Is it okay if it’s a surprise?”

  She smiled back at him. “I was hoping you’d say that. Surprises have worked out well for us so far.”

  Jake drove to the end of the lane and parked beneath a jacaranda laden with purple blossoms. His expression was thoughtful as he stared into middle space. “We have a lot to do in the next few months, don’t we?”

  Yes, they did. Better to not overwhelm him. She nodded. “We do. But we don’t need to do everything at once. We only need to buy cribs and diapers.”

  “That’s a fucking lot of diapers.”

  “And don’t forget the car seats”

  “Jesus.” Two of them. Would they even fit in the car? He climbed out of the truck. Walking around to the other side, he opened Allie’s door and helped her down. “The babies will be crowded with two cribs in the spare room. What if we look for a new house—something bigger. Or we can build one.”

  “We can do that?”

  He took her hand and led her across the lane. “Sure, I know a great general contractor.”

  “Hey, Ben.” Allie spoke easily as they approached, as if he were there beside them. They crossed to the bench and took a seat, holding hands. She took a moment to collect her thoughts. Gave Jake time to do the same. These meetings usually ended up as a series of disjointed ramblings, but it felt natural for Ben to remain a part of their lives.

  It took time, and their love for each other, but together she and Jake had moved on. Fond memories of their earlier years with Ben were tucked safe and warm in the precious corners of their hearts. Ben was an idiot; a selfish, lying, cheating bastard. But he loved them. And they loved him. There was still much to resolve—her son and Ben’s family would need to be told about Meredith—but life went on. And they would handle whatever it threw at them… together.

  She let a private smile tip the corners of her mouth. Trey was a prime example. On the verge of manhood, he was a mature adult one minute and an awkward adolescent the next.

  She stood and wandered the area, kicking up fallen flowers. Trey’s back at school now. He’s doing well. He and Jax have decided they like snowboarding. What do you think, huh?” She paused as if allowing him time to respond. “Our little desert rat is now a snow bum.”

  Jake popped up. Kicked at a weed with the toe of his work boot. “Hey B, the Sox got a new pitcher. Maybe this year they’ll get their shit together. Last season they imploded after the all-star break. You would have cried.”

  A few bits of paper lodged up against Ben’s headstone, remnants of the last breezy day. Allie strolled over to retrieve them. “I forgot to tell you when I was here before, but your dad and Nick came for Christmas dinner.” She laughed because he always teased her about meddling. “Your dad looks good but it seems like he must be lonely all alone in that big house. I wish he’d find someone.”

  “Trey worked for us over Christmas break again.” Jake stopped pacing, sat back down on the bench with a proud smile. “Kid’s smart as a whip. Nick says he’s good with the subs, too. He’ll probably be in charge of one of the crews this summer.”

  Standing idly with her hand full, Allie went to drop her litter in a nearby trash can. She continued as she walked back. “Maddie and I both finished our race with respectable times. Since our goal was just to finish, we’re planning to run it again next year. Maybe a couple of other races, too.”

  Jake stood and held Allie’s hand. “I signed on another block of land in the East Valley. A hundred eighty seven houses. Business is good, partner, like we always planned. But damn, I sure miss you there.”

  Allie let her gaze focus on a crowd across the cemetery. Who did they lose?

  “Trey had his first girlfriend this winter. She lasted about a minute.” A curious smirk bloomed on his face. “The kid’s got a good head on his shoulders.”

  Afternoon stretched into early evening. She shivered and Jake wrapped his arms around her. She tipped her face up to him. He nodded encouragement. This was her story to tell.

  “Life doesn’t always work out the way we plan, does it, Ben? Sometimes things go sideways and we have to make a new start. I’m making a new start with Jake now. I know you understand, because it was your idea, wasn’t it?”

  She tucked further into Jake’s shoulder and brought his hands around her stomach. “Jake gets to be a daddy now, too. He and I will love our children the same way we love Trey.”

  She took a deep breath. Tears flooded her eyes, but these were good tears. Happy tears. “Life changes, Ben. Thank you for showing us that.”

  Facing west with the twilight horizon painted in unusual vivid hues of purple and pink, with her husband’s arms warm around her and his gentle calloused hands laid over his children, Jake spoke up.

  “Hey buddy, you were my best friend from the time we still peed sitting down. I promised you I’d take care of our girl here and you can count on me to do that.

  Allie let her gaze follow his as he studied the engraving on the granite headstone. Bentley Logan Tate, Junior. Beloved Son. Husband. Father. Friend.

  “You were always such a great dad. You let me tag along and play favorite uncle. Well, I’m counting on you now. I’m going to need help from my friend.”

  Her heart tugged as Jake stood there, talking to his friend with the blossoms a profusion of color in the brick-lined beds and the sweet scent of jasmine hovering in the air around him. She grinned as a smile took over his face. A smile that was mostly a smirk. />
  “Besides, you got me into this.”

  “Hey champ.” The little guy is awake and standing in his crib. I sidestep a pile of blocks and almost trip over a big yellow dump truck to reach him. “You ready to get up now?” He stares up at me with his funny colored eyes. Gray and green, same color as our mom’s. His eyelashes are still wet and spiky, but at least he stopped crying. He shakes his head from side to side, obviously misunderstanding the question.

  I chuckle and nod my head up and down, “Yes,” I tell him. “Up.” He just grins that dimply grin of his and shakes his head from side to side again, and again I laugh. “Okay then, now that we have that settled, let’s get you dry so you’re fit for company.”

  The little guy raises his arms, waiting to be picked up. I, experienced brother that I am, lift him from his crib and bounce the kid to the changing table. Once he smells human again I rearrange the pint-sized overalls and attempt the impossible task of taming those ridiculous curls. Kind of reddish, but mostly brown. Again, like Mom’s. After strapping on his brown leather sandals, I pick him back up and take the wiggle monster to join the party.

  The sliding door opens and noise from the backyard pours into the house as I descend the stairs. It’s kind of weird, being in this new house when I only ever remember living in the other one. But Mom and Jake made sure I have my own room and I guess by now it kind of feels like home, even though I’m only there during school breaks.

  I set the boy down on all fours in the carpeted living room. “Off you go, Aiden,” I tell him. “You’re a free man now.” He speeds away, crawling toward the kitchen and the sound of our mom’s voice. He’s making this funny giggly noise and his dimple’s showing. I always secretly wished I had dimples, too, but I never did. One day when he’s older I’ll have to explain to him how to use it to get what he wants.

  I stop to say hello to Gramps, and look around for Uncle Nick, but he’s off in the corner with his date. Apparently some girl he used to go with in high school. Things seem to be a little heated over there so I follow Aiden into the kitchen.

  My sister is there with Mom, putting candles on the fancy cupcakes. I guess I should say my bigger sister, even though she’s not bigger than me, just bigger than my other sister. She was a surprise, let me tell you. Yeah, still getting over that one.

  But Mom and Jake and I talked and talked until I was all talked out and in the end I figure my dad was a dumbshit who screwed up his life. Sort of screwed up a couple other lives in the process. But he was still my dad and I guess everything I knew about him was true, there was just a whole lot of other shit I didn’t know, too. Sometimes I wish I still didn’t, but then I wouldn’t know Merrie either, and she’s a sweet kid. She has blonde hair too, and kind of looks like me, but her eyes are brown, not blue. She’s gonna start junior high next month, the same place I went. Kinda weird.

  Mom’s dealing with my little sister, the littler one. She’s crying, and these big crocodile tears are in her dark eyes, and she’s sticking her bottom lip out. She learned a long time ago that that’s pretty much all she has to do to get her way. She’s a brat, and more than a little spoiled, but she’s stinkin’ cute, so what’s a guy gonna do? She’s got those ridiculous curls too. Thank God I didn’t get those from Mom, but her hair is black and my mom always puts these ruffly hairbands on her head. Which I find laying all over the house when she yanks them off. But Mom quit teaching after she found out about the twins so I figure she has plenty of time to pick up after them.

  My little sister can be pretty demanding, exactly the opposite of my brother, who is really pretty mellow. Right now he’s sitting there quietly, just chillin’ with his chubby little thumb in his mouth. Yeah, he’s stinkin’ cute too. But my sister, the littler one, just took a deep breath and is screwing up her face, ready and willing to start a hair-raising wail. Situation normal around here. But I try to distract her anyway by lifting her up and plopping her pink ruffles onto the edge of the counter, where she proceeds to kick the cabinet with her little white sandals. Finally she starts giggling when Mom scoops a fingertip of icing off one of the cupcakes and pokes it into her mouth. Everything seems to be under control, so I leave her to our mom and stand back to watch the show.

  “There you go, Little Miss Crabbypants.” Mom has a whole shitload of funny names for them. Sometimes, like an idiot, I catch myself using them too. I wonder if she called me those stupid names when I was little too. Who knows? Probably.

  “Mo!” Like I said, she can be stinkin’ cute.

  “No more, Princess.” Mom hugs her tight and sets her on her feet. “Down you go, Addison.”

  Oh yeah, her name’s Addison. Mom fixes the flower on her stretchy hairband before she escapes just as Jake comes in from the back yard.

  “Dada!” Addison giggles again and toddles to Jake, who obediently picks her up.

  “Hello, Princess Addie.”

  He’s a sucker. And he gets the funniest look on his face when he watches her. Aiden too. But right now he’s smiling pretty normal and smoothing her dress that hiked up when he lifted her.

  “Isn’t Addison pretty today.” She shows him her dimple and there’s that dumbass look on his face again. A sucker.

  “Addie.” She shoves her stubby little finger into her chest, pointing to herself. Again, cute.

  Jake walks over to Mom and licks icing off her lip. Pretends he’s all stealthy or something and steals a kiss, like Addison’s not getting squished.

  “How are you doing in here?” he asks Mom.

  Mom traps his hand and places it low on her stomach and tells him, “We’re good,” and all of a sudden her face shines. I read that expression in a magazine once—Cosmo, I think—and thought it was a little over the top dramatic at the time. But it really does; it just shines.

  Mom already dropped this little bomb on me earlier in the day, and told me it was a secret. But now Jake’s face is shining too as it dawns on him what she’s saying and he kisses her for so long I’m beginning to wonder if I should get the kids out of the room. Finally they stop and just sort of stand there looking at each other, both of them with goofy grins.

  Aiden apparently decides it’s been far too long since he was the center of attention, so he takes a page out of Addie’s book and starts crying. Jake pulls himself away from my mom and walks over to him. Smoothly executes a one-handed scoop, which brings an immediate stop to the waterworks. He’s really got this dad shit down. And not just with the babies, either. I guess I have to admit that I think of him as a father too. But sometimes I call him Uncle Jake, just as a joke. But once I did it to piss him off.

  From her perch in Jake’s arm Addie can see the platter of yellow frosted cupcakes. They’re really fancy; Aunt Tess made them for the party, and Addie reaches out like she’s gonna grab one. As if. Jake notices, and starts playing airplane with the kids. He might be a sucker, but it actually is kind of fun to play airplane with them.

  For someone who’s been an only child practically his whole life, I’m kind of liking this big-brother thing. But sometimes I wonder if I’m gonna have to kick some guy’s ass if he tries to get too friendly with Meredith. Addie too, but that’s still a long way off. Better talk to Jax about that; he’s the one with all the big brother experience. Then again, I’m not going to be the only big brother now. Looks like Aiden will be one too. Isn’t that something?

  Meredith’s put candles that look like the number one into two of the cupcakes and Mom picks up the tray.

  Jake calls everybody in, and, sap that he is, winks at Mom, who he calls the love of his lifetime, and kisses the kids, ready to go.

  Addie and Aiden squirm in Jake’s arms but he holds on tight and steps into the dining room right behind my mom, with Merrie right behind them. There are still quite a few people standing around outside, but everyone else is in here.

  Jake makes a little speech—like he always does whenever there’s a big group of people—and everyone gathers close. A minute later everyone is sin
ging loud enough to wake the dead. “Happy Birthday to you—”

  The process of writing this book was a thrilling ride. It started off fun and exciting. Eventually became frustrating and maddening. Was often lonely and exhausting and even sometimes frightening… and then it was back again to exhilarating and fulfilling. If you knew me during this period of time, you got to witness that. Lucky you.

  There were a couple of special women along with me on that roller coaster, both wonderful authors who understood exactly what I was going through—Jes and Carol, you saved my sanity and my book more times than you know. Are you ready to do it again?

  It takes a village to get a book from rough draft to publication and if I attempt to thank everyone I will fail miserably. But for my family and friends who jumped on board and encouraged me from Day One, I love you all. Everyone’s support is truly inspiring. Mark, I’m sorry but I will probably never write a thriller. Bobby, you can relax, I promise I’ll never try to be the next E.L. James. And Jo, you have the nicest way of telling me my character needs work. Thank you.

  For the handful that offered themselves up as beta readers, Allie, Ben and Jake are better for you. For the bloggers and reviewers who tirelessly promote indie authors and their books, you guys are seriously awesome! And for ICR, our little group of indie authors scattered all across the country and even a little further… sister chicks rock!

  Hi there, thanks for picking up Twice in a Lifetime! I’m an Arizona girl, married to my high school sweetheart. I write contemporary romance and romantic women’s fiction under the pen name Ruthie Henrick. Like many of you, I have a one-click compulsion. I’m also in a committed relationship with coffee. And Facebook. Stop by and say hi. I love to chat with readers. https://www.facebook.com/RuthieHenrick